Re: Dawn French Fan Club 2

gerardM Mar 2 Fév - 1:08

Dawn French Fan Club 2 - Page 16 12650869_1038521662872230_3567915827246033096_n

Note "prince charming" and not ~~charming prince~~.

gerardM Mar 2 Fév - 1:35

After dating a young lady for some time a young man decides it is time to marry her.
He proceeds with all the necessary plans and finally the day comes.
On the day of the wedding the young man has yet to pay the pastor for performing the ceremony. However the pastor has a plan.
The service proceeds as planned the vows are exchanged etc. Now it is time for the groom to kiss his bride. The pastor sees this as the perfect opportunity to ask to be paid. He pulls the young man aside and asks him. "Can you please pay me?"
Not wanting to create a seen the young man asked, "How much do I owe you?"
The pastor thinks quickly and replies, "pay me according to your wife's beauty."
The young man discretely pulled out five dollars and gave it to the pastor.
Although annoyed by this, the pastor continues the ceremony and says: "You may now kiss the bride."
At this point the veil is lifted from the brides face to allow the groom to kiss her. As the groom is about to kiss his new bride the pastor interrupts and promptly hand the groom four dollars and fifty cents.

gerardM Mar 2 Fév - 19:14

MurielB Mar 2 Fév - 21:15

At this point the veil is lifted from the brides face to allow the groom to kiss her. As the groom is about to kiss his new bride the pastor interrupts and promptly hand the groom four dollars and fifty cents.

The pastor should have known that “Beauty is not in the face; beauty is a light in the heart.” Wink

gerardM Mer 3 Fév - 20:16

gerardM Mer 3 Fév - 20:31

gerardM Mer 3 Fév - 20:42

MurielB Mer 3 Fév - 21:58

Dawn French Fan Club 2 - Page 16 Images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTi3-isdonDa12Xn06x6tJWJamKTn3DKcy8C9gb9UG_-LfgqqLv

I think the armpits are not so difficult to scratch and the arms are always long enough ! Very Happy

gerardM Mer 3 Fév - 22:56

gerardM Jeu 4 Fév - 12:06

"Would you mind telling me, Doctor," Bob asked, "how you detect a mental deficiency in somebody who appears completely normal?"
"Nothing is easier," he replied. "You ask him a simple question which everyone should answer with no trouble. If he hesitates, that puts you on the track."
"What sort of question?"
"Well, you might ask him, 'Captain Cook made three trips around the world and died during one of them. Which one?'
Bob thought for a moment, and then said with a nervous laugh, "You wouldn't happen to have another example would you? I must confess I don't know much about history."

gerardM Jeu 4 Fév - 12:35

gerardM Sam 6 Fév - 14:51

A young couple got married and left on their honeymoon. When they got back, the bride immediately called her mother.
"Well, how was the honeymoon?" asked the mother.
"Oh, mama," she replied, "the honeymoon was wonderful! So romantic..."
Suddenly she burst out crying. "But, mama, as soon as we returned, Sam started using the most horrible language. He's been saying things I've never heard before! All these awful 4-letter words! You've got to come get me and take me home... please mama!"
"Sarah, Sarah," her mother said, "calm down! Tell me, what could be so awful? What 4-letter words has he been using?"
"Please don't make me tell you, mama," wept the daughter, "I'm so embarrassed! They're just too awful! You've got to come get me and take me home... please mama!"
"Darling, baby, you must tell me what has you so upset... Tell your mother these horrible 4-letter words!"
Still sobbing, the bride replied, "Oh, mama... words like dust, wash, iron, and cook..."

MurielB Sam 6 Fév - 19:25

Still sobbing, the bride replied, "Oh, mama... words like dust, wash, iron, and cook..."

Horrible language ! Smile

gerardM Dim 7 Fév - 13:59

A couple was delighted when finally their long wait to adopt a baby came to an end.
The adoption center called and told them they had a wonderful Japanese baby boy, and the couple took him without hesitation.
On the way home from the adoption center, they stopped by the local college so they each could enroll in night courses.
After they filled out the form, the registration clerk inquired, "What ever possessed you to study Japanese?"
The couple said proudly, "We just adopted a Japanese baby and in a year or so he'll start to talk. We just want to be able to understand him."

gerardM Dim 7 Fév - 14:22

gerardM Dim 7 Fév - 14:52

gerardM Dim 7 Fév - 21:12

gerardM Lun 8 Fév - 14:53

gerardM Dim 14 Fév - 14:46

A Grandma who had serious hearing problems for a number of years went to the doctor to be fitted for a hearing aid that would return her hearing to 100%.
The grandma went back for further tests a month later and the doctor said, "Your hearing is perfect. Your family must be really pleased that you can hear again."
To which the elderly woman replied, "Oh, I haven't told my family yet. I just sit around and listen to the conversations. I've changed my will three times!"

gerardM Dim 14 Fév - 15:08

gerardM Dim 14 Fév - 16:32

gerardM Lun 15 Fév - 0:16

MurielB Lun 15 Fév - 23:09

Are you writing about women's emancipation ?

gerardM Lun 15 Fév - 23:21

Not exactly but kinda.

gerardM Mar 16 Fév - 11:51

A knight went off to fight in the Holy Crusades but before leaving he made his wife wear a chastity belt. After tightly securing it to her, he handed the key to his best friend with the instruction: "If I do not return within seven years, unlock my wife and set her free to lead a normal life."
The knight then rode off on the first leg of his journey to the Holy Land, but he had only traveled barely an hour when he was suddenly aware of the sound of pounding hooves behind him. He turned to see that it was his best friend.
"What is the problem?" asked the knight.
His best friend replied: "You gave me the wrong key."