Re: Dawn French Fan Club 2

gerardM Mer 11 Mai - 19:47

A small town prosecuting attorney called his first witness to the stand in a trial--a grandmotherly, elderly woman. He approached her and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?"
She responded, "Why, yes, I do know you Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a young boy. And frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a rising big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you never will amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you."
The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do he pointed across the room and asked, "Mrs. Williams, do you know the defense attorney?"
She again replied, "Why, yes I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too. I used to baby-sit him for his parents. And he, too, has been a real disappointment to me. He's lazy, bigoted, he has a drinking problem. The man can't build anormal relationship with anyone and his law practice is one of the shoddiest in the entire state. Yes, I know him."
At this point, the judge rapped the courtroom to silence and called both counselors to the bench. In a very quiet voice, he said with menace, "If either of you asks her if she knows me, you'll be in jail for contempt within 5 minutes!"

MurielB Mer 11 Mai - 21:59

In that context "contempt" is an open disrespect or willful disobedience of the authority of a court of law or legislative body.

gerardM Ven 13 Mai - 12:19

MurielB Ven 13 Mai - 20:08

Thanks a lot Gérard ! we will enjoy every minute of it !

gerardM Ven 13 Mai - 22:20

gerardM Sam 14 Mai - 10:26

gerardM Sam 14 Mai - 10:42

gerardM Sam 14 Mai - 19:49

gerardM Sam 14 Mai - 21:42

MurielB Sam 14 Mai - 22:04

Life is beautiful if you know where to look !

gerardM Dim 15 Mai - 11:06

Jack wakes up with a huge hangover after attending his company's Christmas Party. Jack is not normally a drinker, but the drinks didn't taste like alcohol at all. He didn't even remember how he got home from the party. As bad as he was feeling, he wondered if he did something wrong.
Jack had to force himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins next to a glass of water on the side table. And, next to them, a single red rose! Jack sits up and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed. He looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotlessly clean. So is the rest of the house.
He takes the aspirins, cringes when he sees a huge black eye staring back at him in the bathroom mirror. Then he notices a note hanging on the corner of the mirror written in red with little hearts on it and a kiss mark from his wife in lipstick: "Honey, breakfast is on the stove, I left early to get groceries to make your favorite dinner tonight. I love you, darling! Love, Jillian"
He stumbles into the kitchen and sure enough, there is a hot breakfast, steaming hot coffee, and the morning newspaper all waiting for him. His son is also at the table, eating. Jack asks, "Son... what happened last night?"
"Well, you came home after 3 in the morning, drunk and out of your mind. You fell over the coffee table and broke it, and then you puked in the hallway, and got that black eye when you ran into the door."
Confused, he asked his son, "So, why is everything in such perfect order and so clean? I have a rose, and breakfast is on the table waiting for me?"
His son replies, "Oh THAT! Well, Mum dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your pants off, you screamed, 'Leave me alone, I'm married!'"

>you puked in the hallway
Another word... English speaking people have oodles of words due to their "culture": bring up, puke, vomit, throw up, etc
"Hallway" is rather American.

gerardM Dim 15 Mai - 14:21

gerardM Lun 16 Mai - 17:31

gerardM Lun 16 Mai - 17:40

MurielB Mar 17 Mai - 20:34

yes everyone is right according to their view points. What is great is "Exchange and communication" because they teach us how to see the world with different glasses. keep in mind that when somebody expresses a view point different from yours they broaden your mind Very Happy

gerardM Ven 20 Mai - 11:20

gerardM Ven 20 Mai - 17:43

MurielB Ven 20 Mai - 18:19

gerardM a écrit:
Jack wakes up with a huge hangover after attending his company's Christmas Party. Jack is not normally a drinker, but the drinks didn't taste like alcohol at all. He didn't even remember how he got home from the party. As bad as he was feeling, he wondered if he did something wrong.
Jack had to force himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins next to a glass of water on the side table. And, next to them, a single red rose! Jack sits up and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed. He looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotlessly clean. So is the rest of the house.
He takes the aspirins, cringes when he sees a huge black eye staring back at him in the bathroom mirror. Then he notices a note hanging on the corner of the mirror written in red with little hearts on it and a kiss mark from his wife in lipstick: "Honey, breakfast is on the stove, I left early to get groceries to make your favorite dinner tonight. I love you, darling! Love, Jillian"
He stumbles into the kitchen and sure enough, there is a hot breakfast, steaming hot coffee, and the morning newspaper all waiting for him. His son is also at the table, eating. Jack asks, "Son... what happened last night?"
"Well, you came home after 3 in the morning, drunk and out of your mind. You fell over the coffee table and broke it, and then you puked in the hallway, and got that black eye when you ran into the door."
Confused, he asked his son, "So, why is everything in such perfect order and so clean? I have a rose, and breakfast is on the table waiting for me?"
His son replies, "Oh THAT! Well, Mum dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your pants off, you screamed, 'Leave me alone, I'm married!'"

>you puked in the hallway
Another word... English speaking people have oodles of words due to their "culture": bring up, puke, vomit, throw up, etc
"Hallway" is rather American.

good Guy

gerardM Sam 21 Mai - 14:51

gerardM Sam 21 Mai - 14:55

gerardM Sam 21 Mai - 14:56

gerardM Sam 21 Mai - 22:23

gerardM Dim 22 Mai - 15:13

gerardM Dim 22 Mai - 15:27

An 85-year-old couple, after being married for almost 60 years, died in a car crash. They had been in good health the last ten years, mainly due to her interest in health food and exercising. When they reached the Pearly Gates, St. Peter took them to their mansion, which was decked out with a beautiful kitchen, master bath suite and a Jacuzzi. As they looked around, the old man asked St. Peter how much all this was going to cost.
'It's free,' St. Peter replied, 'this is Heaven.'
Next, they went out in the back yard to survey the championship-style golf course that the home was located on. They would have golfing privileges every day and each week, the course changed to a new one representing the great golf courses on earth.
The old man asked, 'What are the green fees?'
St. Peter replied, 'This is heaven, you play for free.'
Next, they went to the club house and saw the lavish buffet lunch with the cuisine's of the World laid out.
'How much to eat?' asked the old man.
'Don't you understand yet? This is heaven, it is free!' St. Peter replied, with some exasperation.
'Well, where are the low fat and low cholesterol tables?' the old man asked timidly.
St. Peter lectured, 'That's the best part - you can eat as much as you like of whatever you like and you never get fat and you never get sick. This is Heaven.'
With that, the old man went into a fit of anger, throwing down his hat and stomping on it, and screaming wildly. St. Peter and his wife both tried to calm him down, asking him what was wrong.
The old man looked at his wife and said, 'This is all your fault! If it weren't for your blasted bran muffins and exercise, I could have been here ten years ago!'

gerardM Dim 22 Mai - 15:31

Dawn French Fan Club 2 - Page 23 Safe_image.php?d=AQDoQcfwckqYd-Fo&w=476&h=249&url=http%3A%2F%2Fviralslot.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2015%2F03%2F2015-03-20-2-07-47-AM

American Tourist Taunts An Australian. This Is Gold.
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