Re: Dawn French Fan Club 2

gerardM Jeu 6 Oct - 21:30

MurielB a écrit:What is a tadpole ?It is the aquatic larva of a frog or toad,

Yeeeeessss... the baby rather than the larva.
Weird name isn't it?

The origin of "tadpole" seems "toad pole" - the head of a toad and a long kind of tail looking like a pole scratch

Apparently, some writings say "toad poll" - "poll" meant head in the past scratch

so an animal with the head of a toad and that's all...
You choose Smile

Wioll you find better?

gerardM Ven 7 Oct - 11:44

A boss wondered why one of his most valued employees had not rung in sick one day. Having an urgent problem with a main computer, he phoned the employee's home number and was greeted with a child's whisper, 'Hello?'
'Is your Daddy home?' he asked.
'Yes', whispered the small voice.
'May I speak to him?'
The child whispered 'No.'
Surprised and wanting to talk to an adult, the boss asked, 'Is your Mummy there?'
'Yes.'
'Well may I speak to her, then?' Again the small voice whispered 'No.'
Hoping there was somebody with whom he could leave a message, the boss asked, 'Is anybody else there?'
'Yes,' whispered the child, 'a policeman.'
Wondering what the police would be doing at his employee's home, the boss asked, 'May I speak to the policeman?'
'No, he's busy,' whispered the child.
'Busy doing what?'
'Talking to Mummy and Daddy and the Fireman,' came the whispered reply.
Growing more worried as he heard a loud noise in the background coming down the phone, the boss asked 'What's that noise?'
'A helicopter', answered the whispering voice.
'What's going on there?' demanded the boss, now really apprehensive.
Again, whispering, the child answered, 'The search team has just landed a helicopter.'
Alarmed, concerned, and a little frustrated, the boss asked 'What are they searching for?'
Still whispering, the young voice replied with a muffled giggle... 'ME!'

MurielB Ven 7 Oct - 21:28

gerardM Dim 9 Oct - 9:36

MurielB Dim 9 Oct - 9:50

Fuck! Shit! Damn it! Very Happy

gerardM Dim 9 Oct - 10:06

Hey I see you already tasted a hammer... Smile

gerardM Mar 11 Oct - 10:50

MurielB Mar 11 Oct - 21:11

The problem is when a house stops being lived in, it dies ! $C\'est vrai!!$

gerardM Jeu 13 Oct - 9:28

Dawn French Fan Club 2 - Page 30 14517459_1221884227869305_1485312166690274643_n

Anyone to explain?
scratch

~~ edit
OK I guess I got it

gerardM Ven 14 Oct - 19:48

The owner of a drug store walks in to find a guy leaning heavily against a wall.
The owner asks the clerk, "What's with that guy over there by the wall?"
The clerk says, "Well, he came in here this morning to get something for his cough. I couldn't find the cough syrup, so I gave him an entire bottle of laxative."
The owner says, "You idiot! You can't treat a cough with a bottle of laxatives!"
The clerk says, "Of course, you can! Look at him; he's afraid to cough!"

MurielB Ven 14 Oct - 21:42

gerardM Ven 14 Oct - 21:55

... worrying threshold crossed Smile

gerardM Sam 15 Oct - 14:27

A man enters a barbershop for a shave. While the barber is foaming him up, he mentions the problems he has getting a close shave around the cheeks.
"I have just the thing," says the barber taking a small wooden ball from a nearby drawer. "Just place this between your cheek and gum."
The client places the ball in his mouth and the barber proceeds with the closest shave the man has ever experienced.
After a few strokes, the client asks in garbled speech, "And what if I swallow it?"
"No problem," says the barber. "Just bring it back tomorrow like everyone else does."

I don't say it's clever I post this to revise English.

gerardM Sam 15 Oct - 14:57

MurielB Sam 15 Oct - 17:33

Yes Gérard funny stories are always very good to revise English. By the way I didn't know the expression : A garbled speech
=> A garbled speech is very difficult to understand and gives a false idea of the facts.

gerardM Dim 16 Oct - 10:52

gerardM Dim 16 Oct - 11:54

Grandma and Grandpa were visiting their kids overnight.
When Grandpa found a bottle of Viagra in his son's medicine cabinet, he asked about using one of the pills.
The son said, "I don't think you should take one Dad; they're very strong and very expensive."
"How much?" asked Grandpa. "$10. a pill," answered the son.
"I don't care," said Grandpa, "I'd still like to try one, and before we leave in the morning,
I'll put the money under the pillow."
Later the next morning, the son found $110 under the pillow.
He called Grandpa and said, "I told you each pill was $10, not $110.
"I know," said Grandpa. "The hundred is from Grandma!"

Do you think it's a hidden ad by the Via*ra Co?

gerardM Mer 19 Oct - 14:19

gerardM Jeu 20 Oct - 14:55

One day a man is walking down the beach and comes across an old bottle. Picking it up, he pulls out the cork... Sure enough, out pops a huge blue genie. The genie says, "Thank you for freeing me from my prison. In return I will grant you three wishes."
The man says, "Perfect! I always dreamed of this and I know exactly what I want. First, I want 1 Billion dollars in a Swiss bank account."
There is a flash of light and a detailed list with Swiss Bank account numbers appears in his hand.
He continues, "Next, I want a brand new red Ferrari right here."
There is another flash of light and a bright red Ferrari appears right next to him.
He continues, "Finally, I want to be irresistible to women."
A final blaze of light and... he turns into a box of chocolates!

MurielB Jeu 20 Oct - 22:36

he turns into a box of chocolates!

He then becomes irresistible.

gerardM Ven 21 Oct - 15:25

MurielB Ven 21 Oct - 22:02

http://www.chabad.org/library/article_cdo/aid/719188/jewish/Have-We-Become-Too-Sensitive.htm

We must always be sensitive and respectful of each other. But not sensitivity that emanates from pity and a desire to build self-esteem, but from a genuine appreciation of the other's unique gifts.
This requires real thought, as opposed to mindless mantra-like compliments. But I think that the Age of Sensitivity is up to the challenge!

gerardM Dim 23 Oct - 11:32

Dog Diary:
8:00 am – Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am – A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am – A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am – Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 pm – Milk bones! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm – Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm – Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm – Dinner! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm – Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm – Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 pm – Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!

Cat Diary:
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.

The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet. Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates my capabilities. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a “good little hunter” I am. Bastards!

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of “allergies.” I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow, but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released, and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded. The bird must be an informant. I observe him communicate with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now …

Nice to read "Cat Diary" and learn several unusual words that we don't find with Newspapers, BBC, etc.

gerardM Dim 23 Oct - 12:20

A young woman was preparing a ham dinner.
After she cut off the end of the ham, she placed it in a pan for baking. Her friend asked her," Why did you cut off the end of the ham"?
"I really don't know but my mother always did, so I thought you were supposed to," she replied.
Later when talking to her mother she asked her why she cut off the end of the ham before baking it, and her mother replied, "I really don't know, but that's the way my mum always did it."
A few weeks later while visiting her grandmother, the young woman asked, "Grandma, why is it that you cut off the end of a ham before you bake it?"
Her grandmother replied, "Well dear, it would never fit into my baking pan."

gerardM Mer 26 Oct - 15:09

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OK easy to understand.
I'd like to point out the "I kid you not", forbidden form of the negative except in expressions (it is an expression) ie use this literaly only.

Dawn French Fan Club 2