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Message  mustaphaE Jeu 5 Mai - 12:14

Hi Gerard, Hi everyone

I just start again to read (the first time, there was six months ago) the Collected short stories of Road DAHL, considered as one of the world's bestselling authors. Voluminous volume with seven hundred sixty four pages. There are all the known titles : Kiss Kiss, Over to you, Switch bitch, Someone like you and Eight further tales of unexpected. It became my bedside book. I cannot say how I could tell about this prolific English writer because all his short tales are fantastic and to easy to read. I would write a few words on one of them because I wish to share the simple and malicious delight of reading them. Road DAHL awaken in me the child’s soul lurking inside me and, I am sure, in all of those who read his stories except those who have lost their inner child. Finally, it is very difficult to do a choice with this wealth. So, I defer to a later to choose. It allows me to make the right choice or, perhaps, you could make the choice for me, could you ?
mustaphaE
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Message  gerardM Jeu 5 Mai - 14:54

Hi Mustapha,

I'm very pleased to read you again, thanks for posting!

I'm busy this afternoon but I'll respond you in the evening, pointing out a few mistakes (I assume you accept my remarks).
See you later.

_________________
Please feel free to point out big mistakes in my messages in a foreign language. Thanks to your remarks, I'll be able to improve my level.
PS: Pls note that I chose American English for my vocabulary, grammar, spelling, culture, etc.  :-)
gerardM
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Message  Guilaine Jeu 5 Mai - 15:04

Thank you, Mustapha, for letting us know about this book by Road Dahl. Although I have already read a few of his books for children, I didn't know about that one: "Collected Short stories", and this is a good opportunity for getting hold of a copy of it.
Guilaine
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Message  mustaphaE Jeu 5 Mai - 16:13

gerardM a écrit:Hi Mustapha,

I'm very pleased to read you again, thanks for posting!

I'm busy this afternoon but I'll respond you in the evening, pointing out a few mistakes (I assume you accept my remarks).
See you later.

Yes, I expect your remarks.
See you later
mustaphaE
mustaphaE

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Message  gerardM Jeu 5 Mai - 22:02

Hi Mustapha,
mustaphaE a écrit:Yes, I expect your remarks.
Today again, I suggest to point out the words that I don't like (red meaning mistake, orange meaning that it's acceptable but I would have preferred something else)
mustaphaE a écrit:Hi Gerard, Hi everyone

I just start again to read (the first time, there was six months ago) the Collected short stories of Road DAHL, considered as one of the world's bestselling authors. Voluminous volume with seven hundred sixty four pages. There are all the known titles : Kiss Kiss, Over to you, Switch bitch, Someone like you and Eight further tales of unexpected. It became my bedside book. I cannot say how I could tell about this prolific English writer because all his short tales are fantastic and to easy to read. I would write a few words on one of them because I wish to share the simple and malicious delight of reading them. Road DAHL awaken in me the child’s soul lurking inside me and, I am sure, in all of those who read his stories except those who have lost their inner child. Finally, it is very difficult to do a choice with this wealth. So, I defer to a later to choose. It allows me to make the right choice or, perhaps, you could make the choice for me, could you ?
As you can see it, there are many words or expressions in orange, that means that there's a tiny mistake or something about which I'm not quite sure as it looks weird to me but I couldn't bet it's wrong.

_________________
Please feel free to point out big mistakes in my messages in a foreign language. Thanks to your remarks, I'll be able to improve my level.
PS: Pls note that I chose American English for my vocabulary, grammar, spelling, culture, etc.  :-)
gerardM
gerardM

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Message  mustaphaE Ven 6 Mai - 10:45

gerardM a écrit:Hi Mustapha,
mustaphaE a écrit:Yes, I expect your remarks.
Today again, I suggest to point out the words that I don't like (red meaning mistake, orange meaning that it's acceptable but I would have preferred something else)
mustaphaE a écrit:Hi Gerard, Hi everyone

I just start again to read (the first time, there was six months ago) the Collected short stories of Road DAHL, considered as one of the world's bestselling authors. Voluminous volume with seven hundred sixty four pages. There are all the known titles : Kiss Kiss, Over to you, Switch bitch, Someone like you and Eight further tales of unexpected. It became my bedside book. I cannot say how I could tell about this prolific English writer because all his short tales are fantastic and to easy to read. I would write a few words on one of them because I wish to share the simple and malicious delight of reading them. Road DAHL awaken in me the child’s soul lurking inside me and, I am sure, in all of those who read his stories except those who have lost their inner child. Finally, it is very difficult to do a choice with this wealth. So, I defer to a later to choose. It allows me to make the right choice or, perhaps, you could make the choice for me, could you ?
As you can see it, there are many words or expressions in orange, that means that there's a tiny mistake or something about which I'm not quite sure as it looks weird to me but I couldn't bet it's wrong.

Hi Gerard and thanks

I'll try to correct some mistakes
- The first time it was sex months ago.
- best selling
- by Roald DAHL (I've forgot the L too).
- Fantastic and easy to read.
- I would like to write.
- Roald DAHL awakens in me.
- It is difficult to make a choice.
- I'll try to choose later
For the rest, I dont know Very Happy Very Happy
mustaphaE
mustaphaE

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Message  gerardM Ven 6 Mai - 22:39

Hi Mustapha,

> Hi Gerard and thanks
You're welcome!
mustaphaE a écrit:
gerardM a écrit:Hi Mustapha,
mustaphaE a écrit:Yes, I expect your remarks.
Today again, I suggest to point out the words that I don't like (red meaning mistake, orange meaning that it's acceptable but I would have preferred something else)
mustaphaE a écrit:Hi Gerard, Hi everyone

I just start again to read (the first time, there was six months ago) the Collected short stories of Road DAHL, considered as one of the world's bestselling authors. Voluminous volume with seven hundred sixty four pages. There are all the known titles : Kiss Kiss, Over to you, Switch bitch, Someone like you and Eight further tales of unexpected. It became my bedside book. I cannot say how I could tell about this prolific English writer because all his short tales are fantastic and to easy to read. I would write a few words on one of them because I wish to share the simple and malicious delight of reading them. Road DAHL awaken in me the child’s soul lurking inside me and, I am sure, in all of those who read his stories except those who have lost their inner child. Finally, it is very difficult to do a choice with this wealth. So, I defer to a later to choose. It allows me to make the right choice or, perhaps, you could make the choice for me, could you ?
As you can see it, there are many words or expressions in orange, that means that there's a tiny mistake or something about which I'm not quite sure as it looks weird to me but I couldn't bet it's wrong.

Hi Gerard and thanks

I'll try to correct some mistakes
- The first time it was sex months ago.
- best selling
- by Roald DAHL (I've forgot the L too).
- Fantastic and easy to read.
- I would like to write.
- Roald DAHL awakens in me.
- It is difficult to make a choice.
- I'll try to choose later
For the rest, I dont know Very Happy Very Happy
Thanks Mustapha Smile

Below are >>the expressions I pointed out >Your suggestions and my comments:
>> the first time, there was six months ago
> The first time it was sex months ago.
As you wrote it, the correct expression is it was... ago; "this was" & "that was" would have been possible but "it was" is the best and traditional form.
>> Collected short stories of Road DAHL
> by Roald DAHL (I've forgot the L too).
Better! Smile
>> one of the world's bestselling authors
> best selling
Yes correct! Smile
>> Voluminous volume
>> seven hundred sixty four pages
>> I cannot say how I could tell about this prolific English writer
>> his short tales are fantastic and to easy to read
> Fantastic and easy to read.
I thought you wanted to write "too easy", that's why I chose the red color (and not orange)
>> I would write a few words on one of them
> I would like to write.
Okay, better this way!
You also had the possibility to use the future tense: I will write a few words... but not the conditional "I'd write"
>> Road DAHL awaken in me the child’s soul lurking inside me
> Roald DAHL awakens in me.
Not only this missing "s"! I reddened both awaken & in because the pattern is "to awake somebody".
>> to do a choice
> It is difficult to make a choice.
Exactly, "to make a choice". to do a choice is definitely wrong (you wrote "you could make the choice for me" a few words later, which is correct)
>> I defer to a later to choose
> I'll try to choose later
Your suggestion is correct.
"To a later" was definitely incorrect.
As far as I know "I defer to later" is also incorrect, the right particle being "until".

Now let's see the words to which you didn't respond:
>> Voluminous volume
The reason of the orange color is simply due to the repetition of 2 words with the same root: volume and voluminous: maybe better to say "thick volume"... am I too French?
>> seven hundred sixty four pages
Just to point out that "seven hundred sixty four" is the American writing.
The British way is "seven hundred and sixty four".
Of course, this is not a mistake on condition you adopted the American style in the whole text.
>> I cannot say how I could tell about this prolific English writer
This case should have deserved red Wink
The orange color is due to the fact I am not 100% sure but afaik "to tell about" needs the specification of whom you tell. "I cannot say how I could tell you about this prolific English writer" would have been correct.

Now Smile let's see your new text as there are a few mistakes:
I'll try to correct some mistakes
- The first time it was sex months ago.
- best selling
- by Roald DAHL (I've forgot the L too).
- Fantastic and easy to read.
- I would like to write.
- Roald DAHL awakens in me.
- It is difficult to make a choice.
- I'll try to choose later
For the rest, I dont know Very Happy Very Happy
> - The first time it was sex months ago.
Of course, it's "six". Funny as "sex" is the pronunciation used by many Americans for "six".
> - by Roald DAHL (I've forgot the L too).
I wonder if you tried to change the sentence afterwards but the correct forms are "I've forgotten" or "I forgot".
> - Roald DAHL awakens in me.
As I explained to you here above, the correct pattern is Dahl awakens me...

I would like to add:
> Voluminous volume with seven hundred sixty four pages.
In these words, there's no verb ie it's not a sentence!


Had I made mistakes in my comments, please could an EMT tell us? Feel free to add comments! Thanks!

_________________
Please feel free to point out big mistakes in my messages in a foreign language. Thanks to your remarks, I'll be able to improve my level.
PS: Pls note that I chose American English for my vocabulary, grammar, spelling, culture, etc.  :-)
gerardM
gerardM

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Message  mustaphaE Sam 7 Mai - 18:20

Hi Gerard

Thanks again for your corrections (I became correction addict) but I have a question :
You wrote "the correct pattern is Dahl awakens me..." But how can I say in English : Dahl a réveillé en moi (à l'intérieur de moi) ?
Because, if I understood, "Dahl awekens me" means Dahl m'a réveillé
mustaphaE
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Message  gerardM Sam 7 Mai - 18:51

Hi Mustapha,
mustaphaE a écrit:Hi Gerard

Thanks again for your corrections (I became correction addict) but I have a question :
You wrote "the correct pattern is Dahl awakens me..." But how can I say in English : Dahl a réveillé en moi (à l'intérieur de moi) ?
Because, if I understood, "Dahl awekens me" means Dahl m'a réveillé
There are 2 verbs which are similar: to awake (irregular verb to awake, awoke, awoken - there's a regular form but it is a bit snobbish) and to awaken (regular verb).

In English as well as in French, there's a figurative meaning.
to awaken can mean:
- réveiller (from sleep)
- faire naitre (fear, hope, interest), éveiller (suspicions)
- to awaken sb to sth = rendre quelqu'un conscient de qqc (danger, disadvantage, problem)
You can say:
- le bruit m'a réveillé / the noise awoke me or the noise woke me up
- ce prof m'a éveillé aux mathématiques / this teacher awakened me to maths.

_________________
Please feel free to point out big mistakes in my messages in a foreign language. Thanks to your remarks, I'll be able to improve my level.
PS: Pls note that I chose American English for my vocabulary, grammar, spelling, culture, etc.  :-)
gerardM
gerardM

Messages : 31183
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Message  Invité Dim 8 Mai - 12:22

Hello Mustapha and Gérard,

Mustapha, your original text was not too bad, and Gérard has corrected most things. :-)

There are two sentences I would like to discuss.
First is ...

Dahl awakens in me the child's soul lurking inside me
I prefer ...
Dahl awakens the child's soul lurking within me (You awaken something in somebody)
but better to have the direct object (the child's soul) immediately after the verb (awakens)
and better not to have repetitious words, ie twice using the word "me"

Next is ...
simple and malicious delight
In English, malicious means spiteful or nasty (in French, malveillant ou mechant)
The French word malicieux is a "faux ami" of the English word malicious
So, if you translated malicieux, the good English word would be mischievous or playful

Bonne continuation Mustapha, "keep plugging away" ! Very Happy

Invité
Invité


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Message  mustaphaE Dim 8 Mai - 17:30

Hi Krystyna and thank you very much indeed for your contributions and your encouragement Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy
mustaphaE
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Message  gerardM Lun 9 Mai - 0:06

Hello Krystyna,

Thanks a lot for your precious words! Smile

I'm not happy Wink to have missed "malicious"!
I'm often dealing with malware and "malware" is a shortcut for MALicious softWARE so, the meaning of malicious is familiar to me Laughing

_________________
Please feel free to point out big mistakes in my messages in a foreign language. Thanks to your remarks, I'll be able to improve my level.
PS: Pls note that I chose American English for my vocabulary, grammar, spelling, culture, etc.  :-)
gerardM
gerardM

Messages : 31183
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http://volangues.blogspot.com/

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