Approval Addiction: Stop Worrying About What People Think

Thanks Gérard for that very interesting post. Yes man has a herd mentality and can't live on his own. He is happy among human beings. He can't be rejected by the group and remain happy. It's up to us to choose the group we want to belong to and keep in mind that we can't please everyone.

HI Muriel,

It is important to get approval of our "friends". However this puts you under control of other people, this makes you dependent on others: these "others" can decide about our happiness.

I also learned of self approval, of the great importance of getting self reward, as often as possible (say regularly). I took classes on this subject and the teacher, a Swiss psychologist, pointed out the healthy necessity of "positive strokes".

A good share of these acquired strokes allows to reduce the dependence on the group of friends; it also allows to move to another group of friends if necessary (geographical move, change of style of life or aim).
100% of self-esteem is not good, of course.

Gérard, you are right, positive strokes are very important. I try my best to give them to my grand children without praising everything they do.