Tautologies of march 2021

On nowaday, everyone's working for uber!
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At 4;39pm sunday, police responded to N Howard Ave , and W 3rd St. to check the area for a pit bull dog that was loose but did not see a loose animal. Police did observe an animal get into a blue vehicle and drive from the area.
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Police blotter item, Salem, Ohio

On praise that stinks
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He is a man capable of breaking both legs and wind in the same time
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Sportscaster Jimmy Greaves on soccer player Paul Gascoigne
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A praise = une éloge
To stink = puer

Tu Hi He is a man capable of breaking both legs and wind in the same time

Great !

On reasons to call 911, mind-nimbingly dumb
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Caller: A deer just swam across the river behind my house
911 operator: And ....
Caller: Well, I'm worried it might be cold
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mind-nimbingly = stupide
Dumb = stupide
A deer = un cerf

911 is a North American emergency number. I wasn't sure so I looked it up on the internet

Don't you know the TV serie "911"?
https://fr.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/9-1-1_(s%C3%A9rie_t%C3%A9l%C3%A9vis%C3%A9e)
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On those musical irish police
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Belcoo police seized 20 cattle and 30 small pigs on suspicion of having been smuggled, assisted by Miss K McDermott (violin) and Mrs P O'Rourke (mercussion)
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The cattle = le bétail
To be smuggled = être passé en contrebande

Hi Florent
what does mercussion mean please ?

It sounds like a typing mistake, percussion is better. Sorry about that.
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On car claims, unusual
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For sale
2005 S2000 Convertible
6 speed, faster than a porch
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Used car ad

really fast!

On who woulda thunk?
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A custom's employee's official duties often bring the employee into contact with persons and organizations doing business or seeking to do business with custons..
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In "Model Code of Ethnic and Conduct" by the Workd Custom Organization
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Do you know what "thunk" means?

thunk translation in French | English-French dictionary | Reverso

No and I looked it up in the dictionary

Static links in the code are replaced by calls to thunk modules.	Des liens statiques du code sont remplacés par des appels aux modules 'thunk'.
A thunk sort of sounds like metal.	Une sorte de bruit comme du métal.
Never would have thunk I would find this so indispensblae.	N'aurait jamais le thunk que je trouverais ce ainsi des indispensblae.
That thunk was about 45 different sounds all put together.	Ce bruit était formé de 45 sons différents mixés ensemble.
For I've just thunk up an alternative energy source.	Je viens de penser à une autre source d'énergie.
Well, who'd have thunk it.	Donc, qui aurait pu y pensé.

Thunk=convertir des adresses(v) ou conversion d'adresses(N)

Thank Muriel
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On subtitles, throught provlcating
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It is forbidden to provocate people from the other entity

of course never provocate people because when you provoke, you should not be surprised by the backlash

On warnings, very intense
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NOTICE
Thr door forbids to open! You are NOT to walk from the door! Any violation of the regulation is to be cruelly punished!
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Sign in a hotel lobby, Kyoto, Japan

You are NOT to walk from the door!

I don't know Muriel, but it is written that way ...
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On but what about Khakis?
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Familly Feud host
Richard Dawson: Name something you buy in a larger size if you have a large familly.
Contestant : Jeans

Are Khakis men’s pants ?

I don't know what Khakis means ...
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On stop sign, materializing
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As I approached the intersection, a stop sign suddenly appeared in a place where no stop sign had ever appeared before. I was unable to stop in time to avoid the accident.
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Statement on an insurance claim form

Morality: Never change the place of road signs

On ilands, always to puzzing
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Does the water go all the way around the island?
Do they move the islans somewhere for winter?
How do the islands stay so close without moving apart?
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Questions asked of Hawaïan guides by tourists
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To puzz = intriguer
To move apart = Se séparer

So many questions 

On Oh, now we get it!
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He's using his strength. And that is hid's strenght - his strenght.
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Sportscaster Kevin Keegan
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A strength = une force
This sentense is supposed to be funny ...

This sentense is supposed to be funny ...