Joke about the 2012 Olympics

Its not long until London will be hosting the 2012 Olympics, so here is a joke celebrating this:

It's 2012 and it's the Olympics in London .
A Scotsman, an Englishman and an Irishman want to get in, but
they haven't got tickets.
The Scotsman picks up a manhole cover, tucks it under his arm
and walks to the gate.
" McTavish , Scotland " he says, "Discus" and in he walks.
The Englishman picks up a length of scaffolding and slings it
over his shoulder.
" Waddington-Smythe , England " he says, "Pole vault" and in he
walks.
The Irishman looks around and picks up a roll of barbed wire and
tucks it under his arm. "O'Malley, Ireland " he says, "Fencing."

Hi Bob,

Thank you for your first message on the forum.

Funny joke! Would you mean Irishmen are a bit stu...range?

I dont mean that Irish men are a bit strange. In England we have a whole series of Englishmen, Scotsmen and Irishmen jokes and the Irish men always do something stupid. I think we are a little unkind always making the Irish the but of our jokes like this, but I think they have similar habits in other countries.

In England we say something is a bit Irish if it is a bit stupid or nonsensical.

In order not to be accused of excessively picking on the Irish, on a similar theme, if we dont understand something, we say "Thats all Greek to me", or alternatively if something is really stupid, we will say "thats double-Dutch"!

hello Bob
I am really very pleased to talk to you on this forum. In every part of the world people tell jokes about people living in countries next to them. Yours was very funny. By the way do you know why the cock is France's amblem ?
It is the only animal which, legs stuck into shit, keeps singing

J'adore Muriel!

Hello Bob,

i remember when i was a child we use to have which will include a French, An English (sometime an American) and a Belge.
French when they are not picking on English or American, they pick on the Belge!

oh dear oh dear...

Hi Muriel,

Its good to talk to you on the forum!!

I think that what you said is interesting (and I didn't know that), but I suggest it is better to say cockeral, because the word you used has entirely a different alternative meaning in English!!

I know the Portuguese have the same national symbol as the French but I don't know why - does anybody know??

Hi Victoria,

I had heard that the French have some jokes about Belgians - I would like to hear some if anybody can offer one!

I have one more Englishman, Scotsman and Irishman joke:

An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman were at the fair and about to go on the helter-skelter when an old crone steps in front of them.
"This is a magic ride," she says. "You will land in whatever you shout out on the way down."
"I'm game for this," says the Scotsman and slides down the helter-skelter shouting "GOLD!" at the top of his voice. Sure enough, when he hit the bottom he found himself surrounded by thousands of pounds worth of gold coins.
The Englishman goes next and shouts "SILVER!" at the top of his voice. At the bottom he lands in more silver coinage than he can carry.
The Irishman goes last and, launching himself from the top of the slide shouts "WEEEEEEE!"

Hi Muriel, Bob, hi everyone,

BobS a écrit:... I suggest it is better to say cockeral, because the word you used has entirely a different alternative meaning in English!!...

LOL
I think I already told you about this Muriel! Be careful with that word and rather use cockeral or rooster.

Thank you Gérard, Bob for the words "cockerel" "rooster"I will remember now.

Muriel, Bob, Victoria, everyone,

A cockeral cockerel is a young rooster.

I still don't understand Bob's second joke.
I guess there's a double-entendre behind "wee" but I cannot figure out.

~~ edit
I got it (someone explained to me)

Bob,

I think in every country, people say the neighboring country citizens are stupid.

You are right, Gérard anyway I am belgian on my grand mother side and I can tell you that belgian people are very bright and have a good business sense.

gerardM a écrit:Bob,

I think in every country, people say the neighboring country citizens are stupid.
.

You are right, Gérard anyway I am belgian on my grand mother side and I can tell you that belgian people are very bright and have a good business sense.

Gerard,

"Wee" means pipi!

Hi Victoria, hi everyone,

Yes I had this one ("pipi") but it is the counterpart that I didn't have

But I wrote: "I got it (someone explained to me)" yesterday night at 10:15pm.

Hi Bob, hi everyone,

Funny jokes, thank you !

Explanation regarding WEEEEE ...
This is the sound that kids (and adults) make as they are sliding down the slippery-dip, or playing on the swings ... it is the same in French (I asked a 4 year old fillette and she confirmed !)
So the Irish guy calls out WEEEEE as he is going down the slide, but unfortunately for him WEEEEE is pipi in French !

In Australia, we think the New Zealanders are a bit silly, and also the Irish !
And in USA, they think the Polish are silly !

Hi Muriel,

For sure, be careful saying the word "cock" !
Australians would roll around the floor in hysterical laughter if you talked about cocks "down under" !
Even cockerel is dangerous, much better to say rooster !

Sorry Gérard, the good spelling is cockerel

Thank you very much Krystyna! I already punched myself in the mirror on your behalf!

Hello Gerard, Krystyna, Bob
I would love to roll around the floor in hysterical laughter. what does the word "cock "mean ?

Muriel,

MurielB a écrit:... what does the word "cock "mean ?

I'm afraid the answer can be given in private only! too naughty for your forum!

Hi Muriel, hi everybody,

Okay, I'm game !

"cock" is a slang (argot) word for penis, and in English-speaking countries is not considered to be polite to use the word in public.

When France and Australia play Rugby, the Australian commentators will call the French team the "Blues" because calling them the "Coqs" causes sniggering and laughter, and of course outrage from old ladies !

The same for the word "dick" ... in American, Dick is the diminutive for a man whose prénom is Richard.
But "dick" is also a slang word for penis, but slightly more acceptable to say than "cock".
So in Australia, much better to say Richard !

Cock and dick are also used as insults !
If you don't like someone (male or female), or think they are silly, then we often call them a cock or dick, or a dickhead !

So, if you visit Oz to watch the Rugby, just remember to never say "Allez les coqs" !!!

Thank you very much Krystyna for your explanation. I hope I haven't offended anyone.

interesting to know the meaning of these words to avoid to use them

allez les bleus !!!

Thanks to Krystyna!

I wouldn't have explained... due to my no-nun's school background! LOL
(I mean you should have gone to a nun's school to be that daring )

je ne suis pas tout à fait sûre d'avoir bien compris, peut être vaut il mieux !!!

je voulais dire utiliser à mauvais escient

Charline,

Had I answered, I would have tried to use the French equivalent...
The word that had to be translated is very naughty and I felt rather uncomfortable.
Krystyna used the medical term, then informed the true word was very rude.