Jennifer Saunders Fan Club

A young blonde was on vacation in the swamps of Louisiana.
She really wanted a pair of genuine alligator shoes to bring back for her boyfriend but didn't want to pay the high prices the local stores were charging.
After becoming very frustrated with the local shopkeepers, the blonde shouted, "I'll just go out and catch my own alligator so I can get a pair of shoes at a reasonable price!"
The shopkeeper replied, "Good luck! Maybe you'll luck out and catch yourself a big one!"
Determined, the blonde turned and headed for the swamps, set on catching herself an alligator.
Later in the day, the shopkeeper is driving home, and he spots the young woman standing waist deep in the water, rope in hand.
Just then, he sees a huge 9 foot alligator swimming quickly toward her.
She lunges, wraps herself around the beast and with a great deal of effort hauls it on to the swamp bank.
Laying nearby were several more alligators all tied up.
Completely amazed, the shopkeeper got out of his car and walked toward the young lady.
Just then the blonde flips the alligator on it's back, and frustrated, shouts up at the shopkeeper, "Ugh! This one isn't wearing shoes either!!"

Passengers on a small plane are waiting for the flight to leave.
They're getting a little impatient, but the airport staff assures them the pilots will be there soon, and then the flight can take off.
Finally the entrance opens, and two men dressed in Pilots' uniforms walk up the aisle.
Both are wearing dark glasses, one is using a guide dog, and the other is tapping his way along the aisle with a white cane.
Nervous laughter spreads through the cabin, but the men enter the cockpit, the door closes, and the engines start up.
The passengers begin glancing nervously around, searching for some sign that this is just a little practical joke.
None is forthcoming.
The plane moves faster and faster down the runway, and the people sitting in the window seats realize they're headed straight for the water at the edge of the airport territory.
As it begins to look as though the plane will plow into the water, panicked screams fill the cabin.
At that moment, the plane lifts smoothly into the air. The passengers relax and laugh a little sheepishly, and soon all retreat into their magazines, secure in the knowledge that the
plane really is in good hands.
Meanwhile, in the cockpit, the pilot turns to the co-pilot and says, "You know, Jim one of these days, they're gonna scream too late and we're all gonna die."