Re: Jennifer Saunders Fan Club

gerardM Mer 24 Mai - 14:21

A farmer in the country has a watermelon patch and upon inspection he discovers that some of the local kids have been helping themselves to a feast.
The farmer thinks of ways to discourage this profit-eating situation.
So he puts up a sign that reads: "WARNING! ONE OF THESE WATERMELONS CONTAINS CYANIDE!"
He smiled smugly as he watched the kids run off the next night without eating any of his melons.
The farmer returns to the watermelon patch a week later to discover that none of the watermelons have been eaten, but finds another sign that reads: "NOW THERE ARE TWO!"

gerardM Mer 24 Mai - 14:35

gerardM Mer 24 Mai - 21:59

gerardM Mer 24 Mai - 22:16

MurielB Mer 24 Mai - 22:52

gerardM a écrit:A farmer in the country has a watermelon patch and upon inspection he discovers that some of the local kids have been helping themselves to a feast.
The farmer thinks of ways to discourage this profit-eating situation.
So he puts up a sign that reads: "WARNING! ONE OF THESE WATERMELONS CONTAINS CYANIDE!"
He smiled smugly as he watched the kids run off the next night without eating any of his melons.
The farmer returns to the watermelon patch a week later to discover that none of the watermelons have been eaten, but finds another sign that reads: "NOW THERE ARE TWO!"

Very clever sign ! Very Happy

gerardM Jeu 25 Mai - 14:55

MurielB Jeu 25 Mai - 15:01

Mind you ! you can also break your face $C\'est vrai!!$

gerardM Jeu 25 Mai - 18:01

MurielB a écrit:Mind you ! you can also break your face $C\'est vrai!!$

Hi Muriel,
Thinking of words, it's understandable but I guess that what you mean is simply "you can also fall down" (no specific expression("down" has to be changed into "over" in British En).

gerardM Jeu 25 Mai - 18:09

gerardM Jeu 25 Mai - 18:31

Jennifer Saunders Fan Club - Page 24 18740379_1648648565164959_2694482580386117727_n

"Butt" is American.

MurielB Jeu 25 Mai - 22:48

gerardM a écrit:
MurielB a écrit:Mind you ! you can also break your face $C\'est vrai!!$
Hi Muriel,
Thinking of words, it's understandable but I guess that what you mean is simply "you can also fall down" (no specific expression ("down" has to be changed into "over" in British En).

Gérard do you think it would be better to say "To fall to the ground"=>se casser la figure ?

gerardM Jeu 25 Mai - 22:57

MurielB a écrit:... Gérard do you think it would be better to say "To fall to the ground"=>se casser la figure ?

"Break your face" is not the English expression and would look strange to them.
Maybe "break your head falling down" would be a good warning. Smile

MurielB Ven 26 Mai - 8:58

gerardM Ven 26 Mai - 17:37

gerardM Ven 26 Mai - 18:23

gerardM Sam 27 Mai - 14:20

There was a lady in her 90s who became a sort of local celebrity because she had recently got married.
The local news station decided to interview her.
The interviewer asked questions like how it was to be a newlywed in her 90s.
"This isn't my first husband, so it's not much different than the others," she replied with a smile.
"Oh? How many husbands have you had?" the interviewer inquired.
"This one will be my fourth," she replied.
"I was married in my 20s to a banker, then in my 40s to a circus performer. After that I married a preacher."
"What does your current husband do?"
"Oh he's a funeral director."
The interviewer laughed and then asked how she came to marry these men from such different backgrounds and personalities.
"It always made sense to me," she replied.
"I married one for the money, two for the show, three to get ready, and four to go."

gerardM Sam 27 Mai - 14:50

MurielB Sam 27 Mai - 22:19

gerardM a écrit:
There was a lady in her 90s who became a sort of local celebrity because she had recently got married.
The local news station decided to interview her.
The interviewer asked questions like how it was to be a newlywed in her 90s.
"This isn't my first husband, so it's not much different than the others," she replied with a smile.
"Oh? How many husbands have you had?" the interviewer inquired.
"This one will be my fourth," she replied.
"I was married in my 20s to a banker, then in my 40s to a circus performer. After that I married a preacher."
"What does your current husband do?"
"Oh he's a funeral director."
The interviewer laughed and then asked how she came to marry these men from such different backgrounds and personalities.
"It always made sense to me," she replied.
"I married one for the money, two for the show, three to get ready, and four to go."

There's always a reason for everything ! Very Happy

gerardM Dim 28 Mai - 10:13

gerardM Dim 28 Mai - 10:28

An out-of-breath 7 year-old girl ran up to her grandfather, who was tinkering in his workshop, and confronted him with the universally dreaded (by adults) question, “What is sex…?”
He was surprised she’d ask such a question at her age, but thought if she’s old enough to ask, she’s old enough to get a straight answer. He wouldn’t shirk his responsibility.
Steeling himself to leave nothing out, he proceeded to describe for her all the variations of human sexuality he could conjure, careful to impress upon her the joys and responsibilities of intercourse and procreation.
When finally Grandpa was done pontificating, the little girl stood frozen, as though nailed to the spot, and looked at him with her mouth open, eyes wide in amazement.
Seeing she was overwhelmed, he asked what caused her sudden curiosity. His granddaughter shook off her reverie and replied, “Grandma says dinner will be ready in a couple of secs.”

gerardM Dim 28 Mai - 10:54

gerardM Dim 28 Mai - 15:48

MurielB Dim 28 Mai - 22:10

The day the child realizes that all adults are imperfect, he becomes an adolescent; the day he forgives them, he becomes an adult; the day he forgives himself, he becomes wise. Alden Nowlan

gerardM Lun 29 Mai - 0:11

gerardM Mar 30 Mai - 10:01

A chemistry professor wanted to teach the 5th grade class a lesson about the evils of alcohol, so he produced an experiment that involved a glass of water, a glass of whiskey and two worms.
“Now, class. Observe closely the worms,” said the professor putting a worm first into the water.
The worm in the water writhed about, as happy as a worm in water could be.
The second worm, he put into the whiskey. It writhed painfully, and quickly sank to the bottom, dead as a doornail.
“Now, what lesson can we derive from this experiment?” the professor asked.
Little Johnny, who naturally sits in back, raised his hand and wisely, responded…
“Drink whiskey and you won’t get worms!”